Recently an Arms of Love Foster Care leader reconnected with a family who fostered, adopted and closed their license through our agency. They had the privilege of adopting an adorable five-year-old boy and six-year-old girl. The children had few known issues and the family was ecstatic. Life seemed like it would move forward smoothly.
At the event where the family reconnected with our team, the ministry leader saw these sweet and beautiful children smiling and playing like the other children. However, the mother began to share how hard it had been parenting these children, and the many challenges that have affected their family and marriage. The angelic-looking little boy has temper tantrums, rages and is in trouble at school most of the time. Their little princess is doing better, but has some major heart issues. They would all benefit from family counseling. She further explained that she has reached out to the children’s therapist, subsidy worker and school counselor and they have offered little to no hope or help for their children. Her last question was, “Do you have any advice?”
Fortunately, this is a strong family who loves each other deeply and will not give up on their marriage or their children. This does not change the reality that they have some really hard and unexpected things to deal with, and feel very much alone. Sadly, this type of story occurs all too often for families who adopt children in the state’s care. They continue to see the effects of their children’s trauma. A sense of loneliness and helplessness can sometimes lead to dissolution of the adoption, resulting in the child re-entering state care. The cycle of trauma then continues.
This family would have benefited from a variety of continued services such as an assigned licensing specialist contacting them and advocating for services regularly, family counseling and possibly respite care. Unfortunately, there is no state funding for services benefiting adoptive parents. Many are left feeling alone to navigate the murky waters of life after adoption.
Arms of Love Foster Care launched an endowment campaign in March 2018 to ensure ministry will continue for years to come. We are praying that 100 donors will give $1,000 in March. We praise God that $27,000 has already been raised. Contributions to the endowment fund will enable staff to continue to offer support to families who adopt, helping them to feel encouraged and know they are not alone. This will ensure positive permanency in the life of a child. Please visit abcsfostercare.com/endowment to learn more.